At our Parenting and Resources class this weekend we were given a list of some great resources for adopting children and preparation. Books that caseworkers often recommend. There's a lot on the market, believe me, I just looked all of these up on Amazon, and there are LOTS of books. So its really nice to have some focused reading to do in the next few months.
As of right now we're on track to start looking at matches starting in December so that's exciting.
Anyway, I just wanted to share what books were recommended to us at the class. I'll probably do a post full of links another time with all of the internet sites we were given to use as needed.
I just put all of these on my amazon wish list too. The one I am going to start with is The Connected Child, I'll be headed to the library soon to pick that one up.
The Connected Child: Bring Hope and Healing to Your Adoptive Family
by Karyn B. Purvis, David R. Cross, Wendy Sunshine
Parenting the Hurt Child: Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow (Hollywood Nobody)
by Gregory Keck, Regina Kupecky
Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today's Parents By Deborah D. Gray
20 Things Adoptive Parents Need to Succeed
by Sherrie Eldridge
The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Child
by Nancy Newton Verrier
Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew
by Sherrie Eldridge
The 3-5-7 Model: A Practice Approach to Permanency
by Darla L. Henry
Dare to Love (Beyond Consequences Book 3)
by Heather T. Forbes LCSW
Building the Bonds of Attachment: Awakening Love in Deeply Troubled Children
by Daniel A. Hughes
Monday, July 28, 2014
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Breathing
Taking a moment this morning to enjoy the cool Late-July air. It's nice to just sit and hear the bird song, feel the soft cool air on my skin, to enjoy the morning.
As I sat I thought about our future child. How future child may push me, us, away. Might be resentful. How that will be hard.
And I took a deep breath. Knowing full well these things might happen, will happen, I smiled.
Parenting, the internet tells me, is super hard. I can't tell you the amount of "Parenting is really hard" posts/articles I've seen pop up on my facebook newsfeed in the past month. And yet, I remain undeterred.
Yes, it will be hard.
It will be harder for us, because our child comes with a history not our own. Not shared with us. We will have to navigate together what their history and our history have and what we can make our shared lives be.
It's a lot like falling in love with an adult human.
You meet someone, it works out, but you each have years and years of history. Things that make the other person crazy, things that make the other person love you so much. Things that make the other person cry with you, for you. Then you promise to love and be there for each other.
It's like adopting our future child. Future child will have history, will have connections to people we may never meet, or know, or know of. And I can accept that. And embrace it.
Another person to learn about, to share with, to grow with? To watch grow?
In what world does a biological child do exactly as parents say? Not rebell? Not drive you up a wall?
In no world. And in this world, our child will too. Born to my heart, not from my womb.
As I sat I thought about our future child. How future child may push me, us, away. Might be resentful. How that will be hard.
And I took a deep breath. Knowing full well these things might happen, will happen, I smiled.
Parenting, the internet tells me, is super hard. I can't tell you the amount of "Parenting is really hard" posts/articles I've seen pop up on my facebook newsfeed in the past month. And yet, I remain undeterred.
Yes, it will be hard.
It will be harder for us, because our child comes with a history not our own. Not shared with us. We will have to navigate together what their history and our history have and what we can make our shared lives be.
It's a lot like falling in love with an adult human.
You meet someone, it works out, but you each have years and years of history. Things that make the other person crazy, things that make the other person love you so much. Things that make the other person cry with you, for you. Then you promise to love and be there for each other.
It's like adopting our future child. Future child will have history, will have connections to people we may never meet, or know, or know of. And I can accept that. And embrace it.
Another person to learn about, to share with, to grow with? To watch grow?
In what world does a biological child do exactly as parents say? Not rebell? Not drive you up a wall?
In no world. And in this world, our child will too. Born to my heart, not from my womb.
Sunday, July 13, 2014
Weekend Review
This weekend's classes were good. Parents and Children we're smooshed together and Child Development was in the afternoon. Child Development was fun - I always enjoyed my psych classes in High School and College and this gave an interesting view of the development of a foster child and how that differs so much from a "typical" child.
Parents and Children was a lot to take in. We arrived a few minutes late because of traffic from a lane closure that wasn't closed (typical Pittsburgh). There were a lot more people there than I expected. All from different agencies, different goals, different child age range wants and needs.
The most astounding statistic from the class was that ABOUT 80% of children in "the system" have had sexual abuse. That ranges from someone watching a pornographic video or movie with someone to rape. A wide range, but the fact that 80% of children have this happen to them made my heart break.
There was a lot to take in otherwise. But nothing that made me say "No, I can't do this" I know our future child is going to have special needs of some kind - be that they need psychological care, extra patience, extra care, I know this. I know my child won't be "normal," especially at first, maybe forever. But who is? I struggle with my own history sometimes, we each have our own journey. Someday we will hold future child's hands as they take their own journey.
Parents and Children was a lot to take in. We arrived a few minutes late because of traffic from a lane closure that wasn't closed (typical Pittsburgh). There were a lot more people there than I expected. All from different agencies, different goals, different child age range wants and needs.
The most astounding statistic from the class was that ABOUT 80% of children in "the system" have had sexual abuse. That ranges from someone watching a pornographic video or movie with someone to rape. A wide range, but the fact that 80% of children have this happen to them made my heart break.
There was a lot to take in otherwise. But nothing that made me say "No, I can't do this" I know our future child is going to have special needs of some kind - be that they need psychological care, extra patience, extra care, I know this. I know my child won't be "normal," especially at first, maybe forever. But who is? I struggle with my own history sometimes, we each have our own journey. Someday we will hold future child's hands as they take their own journey.
Thursday, July 10, 2014
Classes this Weekend!
Just a few days until our 1st Saturday of classes! I'm really excited for it.
I just looked at my ical and realized it was Thursday, this whole week each day I have thought "It feels like Thursday." EXCEPT for today! How funny!
Also, that means I just have to wait through tomorrow to get to classes on Saturday morning! This session won't be at The Children's Home because they are doing renovations, so we're at an alternate location in Shadyside. Which will be nice because there's less street and building construction to deal with en route.
This weekend's classes are: Who are the Children, Who are the Parents, and Child Development.
As far as I can tell from our packets:
Who are the Children is about adoption vocabulary, the court processes from removal to adoption, birthparent responsibilities, and Foster/Resource Parent rights. Then the fun stuff: like what the child is going through, adoptive family issues, concerns, and being an advocate for the child.
Who are the Parents is about defining why you want to become a foster to adopt parent, changes in family dynamics, what children may expect from parents, what birth families these children may come from.
Child development will cover the effects of foster care on children, physical and psychological development through the years - birth to 18, and what early intervention is and how it is used.
We'll have class in the morning, break for lunch on our own, come back and will end around 4pm. In conversations with my friend who is also adopting through the same track this weekend is the most "scary." We shall see.
As far as paperwork goes, I've stalled out. I know we don't actually have that much more to fill out, or do, it's just looking things up and this and that, here and there. I may finish my auto-biography tonight though. On the plus side, Paul's employment verification is done, and 2 of our references have mailed in their paperwork! HOORAY!
I emailed with my caseworker and she agreed that while we may have some done and just waiting to be mailed, it's better to mail it in as few batches as possible. So I don't feel bad about not getting things in as soon as it's done.
I am so happy to be hitting a milestone this weekend!
I just looked at my ical and realized it was Thursday, this whole week each day I have thought "It feels like Thursday." EXCEPT for today! How funny!
Also, that means I just have to wait through tomorrow to get to classes on Saturday morning! This session won't be at The Children's Home because they are doing renovations, so we're at an alternate location in Shadyside. Which will be nice because there's less street and building construction to deal with en route.
This weekend's classes are: Who are the Children, Who are the Parents, and Child Development.
As far as I can tell from our packets:
Who are the Children is about adoption vocabulary, the court processes from removal to adoption, birthparent responsibilities, and Foster/Resource Parent rights. Then the fun stuff: like what the child is going through, adoptive family issues, concerns, and being an advocate for the child.
Who are the Parents is about defining why you want to become a foster to adopt parent, changes in family dynamics, what children may expect from parents, what birth families these children may come from.
Child development will cover the effects of foster care on children, physical and psychological development through the years - birth to 18, and what early intervention is and how it is used.
We'll have class in the morning, break for lunch on our own, come back and will end around 4pm. In conversations with my friend who is also adopting through the same track this weekend is the most "scary." We shall see.
As far as paperwork goes, I've stalled out. I know we don't actually have that much more to fill out, or do, it's just looking things up and this and that, here and there. I may finish my auto-biography tonight though. On the plus side, Paul's employment verification is done, and 2 of our references have mailed in their paperwork! HOORAY!
I emailed with my caseworker and she agreed that while we may have some done and just waiting to be mailed, it's better to mail it in as few batches as possible. So I don't feel bad about not getting things in as soon as it's done.
I am so happy to be hitting a milestone this weekend!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)