Taking a moment this morning to enjoy the cool Late-July air. It's nice to just sit and hear the bird song, feel the soft cool air on my skin, to enjoy the morning.
As I sat I thought about our future child. How future child may push me, us, away. Might be resentful. How that will be hard.
And I took a deep breath. Knowing full well these things might happen, will happen, I smiled.
Parenting, the internet tells me, is super hard. I can't tell you the amount of "Parenting is really hard" posts/articles I've seen pop up on my facebook newsfeed in the past month. And yet, I remain undeterred.
Yes, it will be hard.
It will be harder for us, because our child comes with a history not our own. Not shared with us. We will have to navigate together what their history and our history have and what we can make our shared lives be.
It's a lot like falling in love with an adult human.
You meet someone, it works out, but you each have years and years of history. Things that make the other person crazy, things that make the other person love you so much. Things that make the other person cry with you, for you. Then you promise to love and be there for each other.
It's like adopting our future child. Future child will have history, will have connections to people we may never meet, or know, or know of. And I can accept that. And embrace it.
Another person to learn about, to share with, to grow with? To watch grow?
In what world does a biological child do exactly as parents say? Not rebell? Not drive you up a wall?
In no world. And in this world, our child will too. Born to my heart, not from my womb.
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